I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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