This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
