We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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