you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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