Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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