You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
