sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
