If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
