He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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