Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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