My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
