you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
