You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
