So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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