the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
