i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
