My brain says no but my pants say off.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize