Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
