i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
