Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize