he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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