you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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