kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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