Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
