Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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