A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize