"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
