is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
