I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
