I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
