well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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