I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
