I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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