he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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