I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you didnt know i had herpes?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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