Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize