1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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