Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
