The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my sisters under your porch take her home
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
