well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
