I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
