Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
