So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
