yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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