so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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