You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
