So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
