Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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