I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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