My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
