hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
