it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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