Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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