there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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