She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just invented taco cereal.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
