dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't deserve a penis
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
